Thursday, November 1, 2012

Love's Not Easy, But It's Worth It

I cried as we drove to the hospital. We were headed in for a scheduled induction, but my contractions had started earlier that afternoon, and I was pretty sure I was already in labor.

{I had been hoping to avoid an induction this time around, but two days earlier my doctor - who literally saved my life the day Reese was born – told me that she had to go out of town unexpectedly over the weekend of my due date. I sat on our patio praying for peace and clarity as I tried to decide whether to schedule an induction or risk my doctor's absence. I decided on the induction, despite my desire to experience spontaneous labor. Imagine my excitement when I started having contractions the morning of our appointment. Isn’t God awesome?}

As we made the 30 minute drive to the hospital, the joy and excitement were overshadowed by anxiety and fear as I wondered how I would possibly go through all that pain and exhaustion again. I worried about a repeat occurrence of the complications I suffered last time and I questioned my ability to do it all again. Matt held my hand as we drove, reassuring me that everything would work out and reminding me of the bigger picture behind the pain. The wait is over. We’re having a baby. Today.

Thirteen hours later, our daughter was born. If I took the time to fully recapture the details of those hours and the magnificence of her entry into the world, I’m afraid you might never see the end of this post, (and given my current state of exhaustion, it is unlikely that anything I write will accurately portray such a miracle).

That night, I laid in my hospital bed surrounded by the soft glow of the moon and the light snores of my husband asleep on the couch across the room. Next to my bed, our newborn baby squirmed in her sleep.

The events of the day replayed in my mind as I relived the magic of holding, kissing, and nursing my baby girl for the first time and the memories of Reese’s newborn days. No longer minding the pain, no longer worrying about the weeks of sleep deprivation ahead, no longer wondering if I can handle this, I lowered my head to the pillow and closed my eyes to join my husband and my daughter in peaceful sleep.

Ignoring the IV needle in my wrist, the cramps in my back and abdomen, and the stitches that hindered even the slightest change in position, I pressed the “play” button on my ipod, turned the setting to “random,” and let the tears of joy and gratitude flow onto the pillow as Francesca Battistelli began singing in my ear…. 

Love’s not a feeling
Love’s not convenient
But I know love will change your life
Love takes sacrifice
Love cuts like a knife
Sometimes love will make you cry
Love’s not easy
But it’s worth it…

Allie Marie
October 26, 2012 @ 1:01pm. 
8 lbs. 20 in.

Welcome to the world, Sweet Baby Girl.

This is a Bigger Picture moment.
Join us today at Alita's place.