
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray.
You'll never know, Dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."
You'll never know, Dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."
I usually leave with a smile.
She is my only sunshine…
But lately I leave with a tear.
…for just eight more weeks.
Sometimes the tears come before I even to the last line.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
People often ask me how I think Reese will adjust to the baby - if she will struggle or get jealous. No one has ever asked about my adjustment, my struggle, my... jealousy? Is that what this is?
These are thoughts I haven’t voiced, emotions I haven’t shared.
Because I wonder, Am I crazy? Is this normal?
But the truth? The truth is a part of me is already mourning the impending loss of my only sunshine. For two years she has consumed my days, my life, my heart. I don’t want to divide my attention, split my focus, share my time. Our precious little moments suddenly seem so limited. I keep thinking about how much I’m going to miss her. It’s as if I forget that she isn’t going anywhere.
Still, I can’t help wondering how our relationship will change. Will we ever be the same again? Will we still have those just-you-and-me moments that I enjoy so much? Will I be able to divide my affection, time, and attention equally? Is there even room in my heart for another love like this? Can I possibly have two sunshines?
Then I look at my husband – my original sunshine. I remember how I experienced these same emotions about him before Reese was born. With just a few weeks to go, I cried on his shoulder as I thought about how much I would miss the alone time we had so recently learned to cherish. I couldn’t help wondering how our relationship would change. Would we ever be the same again?
The minute she was born I knew the answer. No, we would never be the same again, but we would never wish to be the same. Filling a void in our hearts we didn’t know we had, she made our family more complete and deepened our love on every level.
